uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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