I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
