remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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