apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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