legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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