He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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