garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
high people should be assigned attendants
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
