i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
