I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
