I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
