we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
