I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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