Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
