Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
