Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
