she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
