It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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