Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
