You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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