he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
