I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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