you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
then he tried to convert me to islam
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
