I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
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