Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
