They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
