Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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