Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
