I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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