I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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