Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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