Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
