Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
