u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
