We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
