Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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