I'm jealous of your bromance
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
