So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
