hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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