I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
