i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
