well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Acid is not a monday night drug
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I am available for nakedness
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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