I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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