Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
