Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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