I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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