i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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