Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
