I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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