She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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