I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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